In the Name of the Moon!
by zerodaysdone
Summary: A Prequel to "They Really Were That Dense." A modern AU crack fic in which Alanna and Faithful move in and make friends with George. Faithful is rude, Alanna is violent, and George is charming as hell. Rated M for swearing.


**In the Name of the Moon!**

"Alanna Trebond, where the fuck is the box with my underwear?!"

"Fuck if I know! Don't let the cat get out of the house!"

"It's your cat! See if I care if it gets run over by a car!"

"You're the one who gave it to me, dumb ass! If it escapes, how the fuck are you going to take it for walks at three in the afternoon with a martini glass in hand?!"

"Alright, Alright, don't get your panties in a twist."

"I can't, _Faithful_, because YOU'RE wearing them."

"Ooh. Nice one."

"Thanks. Now put the cat back in the carrier, he's going to pee all over the carpet."

"It's not like we can't afford a new one."

"That's not the point. The point is that it's new. Plus we'd have to clean it up."

"Ugh."

Alanna stood back for a moment and observed her new apartment and her new roommate.

The place was a nice, two bedroom affair with a kitchen, a bathroom, and a nice living room. The walls were plain white, but she knew they'd soon be filled up with their posters and pictures. The carpet was nice, if cluttered with a multitude of boxes and not yet assembled pieces of furniture. Earlier that day, they'd played rock paper scissors for the bedroom with the better view (both the rooms were nearly the same size, so that wasn't a concern). Alanna had won with an evil cackle and Faithful demanded a rematch, but with no avail. It was only fair, she told him, as her job was more stressful. He'd asked what was so stressful about prancing around in a costume, and she'd reminded him that she had been in the army and could hurt him in many different ways.

And her roommate? Well, after years and years of friendship, moving in together had been the obvious thing to do. It wasn't any huge decision. Alanna's family was rich and mostly dead. Faithful's family was religious, which he regretted deeply. The two looked like they could be cousins, if only because of their eyes, colored a strange sort of violet color that many swore was unnatural. In other things, they differed. Faithful was tall and graceful, with short black hair and an unhealthy obsession with yoga. Alanna was short and only remotely curvy, with ear-length ginger hair, and could easily lift a broadsword.

Before they had decided to move in together, Alanna was one year back from enlistment and Faithful was the permanent resident of his married 'friend's' (the most politically correct way to classify their relationship would be 'a mutually tolerated acquaintanceship'), Weiryn's, basement. Alanna gotten tired of having to deal with her twin brother Thom's intolerable new boyfriend who had conveniently moved into their family mansion during her time away, and Weiryn was threatening to kick Faithful out onto the street, or even worse, call his mom.

Faithful in turn constantly lamented over how life as magician was unbearably hard to anybody who would listen in an effort to gain Weiryn's pity. Thom, overhearing this and getting tired of Faithful's yowling, set him up with a job as a therapist, which the man quiet took to. Around the same time, Alanna had started working in a shop that sold and made period costumes and weapons. It was something she had always liked and even pursued in her childhood, and to her credit, she was getting pretty good with a sword (she'd been part of a club in her late teen years).

Both of them having just gotten their lives back on track (Faithful after the death of a close friend, and Alanna adjusting to civilian life), they had decided to move out. However, Faithful wasn't sure he had the money to do so (budgeting wasn't his forte) and Alanna didn't want to live alone, and the rest just sort of happened.

The whole thing hadn't seemed real before, but now it was indeed very real, messy, and smelling slightly of sardines.

"Al," said Faithful slowly, looking around the room.

"Yeah?"

"I think I left a box downstairs."

Alanna heaved a sigh, "Goddamnit. This isn't a gated community! What if somebody steals it? You never kn-"

She never got to finish the sentence, because her little tirade got interrupted by the insistent ringing of the doorbell. Alanna sighed, and as the most sociable out of the both of them went to open the door.

Outside of it stood a pleasant looking man with piercing hazel eyes, pierced ears, and messy brown hair. He was dressed simply, in a black t-shirt and jeans, and holding a box.

"Would this happen to be yours?" he asked, smiling sightly.

Alanna nodded and held her hands out of the box, which she received along with a mind look of concern.

"Thanks," she looked behind her at Faithful, who was giving her a thumbs up for no apparent reason.

"It was no problem at all, you can never be two careful around here. I'm your neighbor, I live right across the hall. Might as well be friendly. My name's George."

The man really was pleasant. Alanna felt the need to smile back at him, "Thank you for the box-"

Her roommate interrupted her, "Al, stop dallying and get in here. Bring your new friend, too."

George smiled, "So, uh, Al. And you are?"

"Pan. Pan Faith. Nice to meet you."

Alanna snorted, "Don't lie, your name is Faithful."

"That's the cat's name, not mine!"

"I named the cat after you, so stop complaining."

George's smile turned into a grin, "So are you two boys... together?"

The roommates fell silent and turned to give George the look that teachers usually reserved for students who asked if China was actually located on the moon.

Faithful put his hand on Alanna's shoulder and explained, in clear, concise, and definitely not school appropriate terms exactly what he thought of dating 'Al', asked exactly what George was on to conceive such an idea, and gave a very creative plan on where and how George should store it, and then cited Alanna's hobby as the main reason why the concept would be absurd.

Sometimes Alanna had the patience of a saint. Wait no. That's a lie. It's just today her fuse had been even shorter, stressed out, and didn't want to piss off their neighbor for the next god-knows-how-long, so she thanked him for clearing up the mess by punching him in the stomach, and the idiot collapsed on the ground, gasping for air and not capable of sustaining a smug expression any longer.

George stared at Faithful convulsing with laughter on the ground.

"Nice," he said, eyes full of respect and approval.

Alanna sighed, "One of these days, I'm going to do something to clean his mouth out. I'd steal his collection of Sailor Moon figurines and replace them with soap, but he sleeps with those."

And they had left it at that.

After Faithful had gotten up and contained his ugly laughter (George casually threw out the idea that he was a masochist, Faithful muttered that it would explain why he put up with Alanna), the three of them put together four pieces of furniture and accidentally dropped a fifth out of the window. When that was done, they ordered pizza (the delivery guy arrived quickly and left even more quickly upon seeing George), and eventually said goodbye to their new friend and neighbor.

The next morning, Faithful's collection of Sailor Moon figurines had disappeared, replaced by some nice herbal soap that guaranteed cleanliness. Faithful was furious and Alanna found it hilarious. They hadn't talked for the rest of the day, and that evening, Alanna had found the collection sitting daintily on the roof in a giant gift basket. George refused to admit to having anything to do with the incident.

All in all, it was a decent start to a new life.


End file.
